My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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