Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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