i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
