He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
