Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
