CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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