And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize