Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
