Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
