The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
