I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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