If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i wish my penis had a tongue
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
and you fell through a lawn chair
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
