don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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