Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
