What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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