I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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