so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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