dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
