She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
