yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
