You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I need to align my fucking chakras
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
