at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
