Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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