God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
