Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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