yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
