I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Alive.
So much puke
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We are all done wearing pants today
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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