Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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