Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
there was a trapeze. enough said
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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