You really coming over, don't trick.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
