is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize