Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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