Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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