Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
