32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
