i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
