He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
