you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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