Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
