i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
