nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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