You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
