a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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