And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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