we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
