Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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