and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
