Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
there is glitter all over my balls
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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