i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize