I need help removing her.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
