Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
