I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This baby is an asshole
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize