Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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