im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
