so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
