went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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