My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize