Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
