So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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