drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
