Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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