That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
