Betty ford says i'm here all night
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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