my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
