just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
