I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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